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steppin' it up.

1/16/2019

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Guys, I'm totally a step mom.  I say that with such a twinkle in my eye because I don't think of myself as a step mom until parties start trying to draw lines.  It's hilarious.  Personally, I get it, but I think it's so completely stupid because possessiveness of your children against me only hurts them.  I can't rectify in my brain the person that the birth mom tries to project herself as with the person that I'm exposed to.  Here's the deal: I love these little people.  We joke about me being the, "evil stepmother," but it's only funny because I'm not evil to them.  I love them.  I cherish them.  I protect them.  I provide for them.  I treat them as good {or better} than I treat my biological children.  I rarely raise my voice with them.  I don't physically punish them.  I'm too concerned with doing something that can be turned around on me like a weapon with them.  My biological children don't get that luxury. 
Over the holidays, my bonus daughters reported to us about the ways they were cursed at.  About being called a, "f----n brat."  They defended their mother with bogus statements about how it was okay because she curses all the time anyway.  Nope.  Never okay.  My first thought is what storm she would attempt to rain down on my household if I acted in such a manner.  Whatever.  Let it go, right?  
​I understand that, just as they report to us, they report to her.  
Back to my point though, I so enjoy my bonus babies.  I'm thankful for them.  I pray circles around them.  I claim so much good for their lives.  I'm blessed to get the window that I do into who they are and have an influence in them... to just be a piece of their childhoods.  I'm hopeful that I'm a bright spot to them.  So much effort is made to treat them with fairness, kindness, and love.  I don't take my responsibility to them lightly.  
I planned a family with Aaron.  Those hopes were dashed.  I investigated adoption and fostering and even considered the possibility of having more biological children, but God had other plans.  Plans that I don't believe I've seen the fullness of yet, but I believe that I will.  I'm so blessed with a fullness that was hard won.  The battle isn't over.  I covet your prayers.  
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    Shannon

    A wife, a mom, a widow, a librarian, a sister, a daughter, a girlfriend, a teacher, a God-follower, a coach, a snarky huss, a lover, a confused party, a favorite, a decisive chick, a real person, a hated person;).  These thoughts won't be pretty and I will contradict myself a lot, but they are my thoughts, in the moment, in this life.

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